#TimetoDeliver - Open letter to Prime Minister

Add your name/organisation to let the Prime minister know it is #TimetoDeliver on Letterbox contact

Dear Prime Minister,

It’s #TimeToDeliver on letterbox contact between children, adoptive families and birth parents

We are writing to you to share our concerns about the current letterbox contact system and the impact it is having on us, our children, and adoptive parents.

Letterbox contact is an indirect form of contact where adoptive and birth families exchange letters, usually once a year, through an adoption or fostering agency.

For many women like us who have children who have been adopted, letterbox contact is the only connection we have with our children. This is also the only opportunity adoptive parents have to build a relationship with us and other family members.

Letterbox contact is important for our children to understand their identity and to know that we love and miss them. Receiving letters can be difficult for us because it is a painful reminder of what we miss out on, but we love receiving our letters and are happy to know how our children are developing into their individual selves.

Despite this, there are lots of things that can be challenging with letterbox contact.

It is hard to build a relationship with our children with one letter a year.

There is very little support and guidance for birth and adoptive parents, which can make it challenging to know what to write and how. This can lead to miscommunication and letters not being received or written, which can be painful for everyone involved. There is also a lack of an individualised approach to contact, despite each case being different. We should be treated as individuals, not by a set rule.

We, and everyone who has signed this letter, are calling for a change in the letterbox contact system so that our children and their adoptive parents can understand their history and identity better, and so that we can all build meaningful and life-long relationships. We all have the best interest of our children at heart, and we want to know that they are okay, and for them to know that they are loved by all involved.

Last year, Pause – a national charity that works with women who have experienced the removal of children from their care more than once - published a report #TimeToDeliver to explore families' experiences of letterbox contact.

Letterbox contact is rife with challenges that make developing long-lasting relationships difficult for families. Alongside Pause we are calling for:

💌Increased support for birth parents and adoptive families post-adoption, to enable them to take part in letterbox contact

💌Letterbox contact arrangements to be reviewed after a specific amount of time

💌Investigation into digitally mediated post-adoption letterbox contact

💌A dedicated letterbox coordinator or team in all local areas, to support birth and adoptive families

💌Clear and regular communication to children, birth parents, adoptive parents and other carers, to understand the letterbox process.

We welcome the Department for Education’s Adoption Strategy and commitment to ensure best practice on contact arrangements between adopters and birth families. It is important that letterbox contact is a part of the conversation. We would like to hear from you about how you plan to improve letterbox contact – we can be reached at info@pause.org.uk

Sincerely,

Pause Advisory Group (a group of twelve women who have worked with Pause and have experienced the removal of children from our care).